LOL

Go away, troll. None of your posts are funny.

STALK KAEDE-CHAN

It's okay Randy-kun. Let him think what he wants to think.

@artificialcuntbox

You're retarded.

Kaede is lying.

that's cool. i respect that

I didn't do it, I swear.
By the way, you wanted to know if I'm a guy or a girl.
I'm legally female. That's all you need to know.

wait, why is it tagged, "write a novel about this novel"?

that WAS a joke?

can't even take a joke

I think I hate you now Bob.

i use xpdf

also this novel'' is one of the shittiest and most uninspired pieces of crap i've ever seen a kid stillbirth onto the public web before, if not the worst. you get a -30 points for the bad story, -5 for the annoying format, and -15 for your writing style. congrats you get -50/100

This makes me want to start writing again.

Interesting idea for a story, I'd love to see more.

I don't really mean to be a picky floozy about your work but this post is really just a few things that stand out as odd to me. Don't think of it as hate, but just some notes that pop into my head.
I read a lot of Clive barker and books from the Herbert family, so i might have lost touch with the first person perspective and direction of these things.

The tempo, set at the beginning i don't dig so much. It makes me think more of a comic book's first few pages in the first issue - which i don't think translates well when its all congested to this first block. Let me learn about the character a little slower, instead of all at once. i found my self listing past a few ticks of information at times which i go back and read again later.

"By bending the light a bit, I could see through the mirror that Lilly was clearly not happy about this."
This blurb strikes me as odd. I know, shes with friends. Shes probably pretentious enough to span her abilities all the time but the next line says that distaste well enough. It touches well on one thing a person might forget though, light's path and the effects on vision.

Once we get to football captain the writing picks up quite well, gets my attention and moves on. Not really talking about the episode at the dance but just the flow. With a little more time i see you doing well here. its hard to concentrate on the right details, i know that much but i see potential for thing's I'd read on the metro.

I think that is all i will say for now.

//I got a pdf reader on my phone. Makes metro a little more interesting.

It was sarcasm, I don't usually beat my games with guides. I don't use pdf as I can usually figure everything by myself. UNLESS IT GAME THAT HAS YOU COLLECT OBJECTS THAT HAVE NO RELEVANCE OTHER THAN TO EXTEND THE LIFE OF THE GAME.

Some games have guides for it, what else opens .pdf files?

....Or was that sarcasm?

Good thing I like you, Noire.

Woah woah woah, kaede, you have adobe reader? Why would anybody use it?

Before i get into reading this, can you tell me a bit about your experience with how google.docs did with the file? or perhaps how you might feel about it in general i guess.

I've had a few scripts i need public for various reasons and been looking for places to deposit them outside of file hosting.

/blinded by my HD monitor and white walls. Must. Find. Brightness.
/Reading.

Oh god it's double spaced. D: I'm going to read it now.\
Also in case you didn't know, you can download your documents from google docs into pdf form, it's pretty cool.

EDIT: "You know that old shitty anime show, Avatar: the Last Airbender" dude I fucking love that show. :(

haha! thanks man! definitely keep a look out. ill post latest copies here every now and then

Holy shit dude, it's awesome. Keep writing!

do you have a friend that can control light?

>She's got amazing dirty blonde hair and the most beautiful emerald eyes.

This is me you're describing.

Liking it so far, but a little too much intro on the main character.

-------

It's pretty good. If you find a good editor, it'll do fine.

what can i say. i needed a black dude...? but thanks

He’s a tall black kid who always has something witty to say and is the star of the swim team.
Of course the black guy.
But otherwise an amazing story.

haha! maybe, bro. im glad you like it so far! ill experiment with introducing it a more subtly. Writing this has been really fun so far and I am so excited to receive praise and criticism already. thanks a lot, bro!

Just finished it and I must say I like it so far. I guess the only thing I would suggest is introducing the character's powers in a more subtle matter, rather than jumping straight into it. Obviously it's your decision and so far I really like it. Be sure to keep us updated on any revisions.

Also "my sister stairs in to the fire contemplating something. I’ll probably never know. I just hope it has nothing to do with me". Do I sense some possible foreshadowing ;)

hope you like it

Alright, I'll read it after this episode of Shuffle!