I'm such a screw up. I hate making people mad, why can't I just learn not to try to help anyone?

I don't really believe in prayer, but if I did, damn it, I'd be praying and hoping with all of my heart.

On a brighter note, I found 20 dollars in a parking lot today. Bought some beer and coconut milk (and some chocolate for my mom) with it.

Tomorrow (Saturday) I've got another date with the 28 year old that stood me up earlier this week. Apparently they had to work late and couldn't even call me to tell me that.

I'm going to bed. I love you all.

/personalblog

And with these terrible dreams, sleepless nights i find my self sitting in front of the desk trying to some how translate the experiences into the Music i want to make, instead of the crap my co-op is telling me to make.

I don't really like to drink much but dammit some times i wish i still had a little Absolute.

On a brighter note, I'm getting a lot of experience for my art direction and texture mapping - its hard to make a sound track (and ambient FX for the map..) to go with it though.

Tomorrow (Saturday) i go out with my ex boyfriend. Oh lord. I hope he doesn't think it is another date. I already had to shun him for the first one. I can't even call him with out the awkward-penguin situations he creates for himself.

I'm staying up for a while i think. Love you guys~!

/Personalblog

I've been awake far too long and I've been talking to Keade-chan lately and I hope the date goes well. Been looking at laptops, comparing them, and discussing the differences with a couple people, and its 3 am currently. My girlfriend is in her homeland, Australia, for 6 weeks so the time zone difference is huge and she just so happened to sign on about 40 minutes ago so I'm delighted she and I can talk. Tomorrow I work in the evening, but oh well.

No paragraphs </3
Love you all!
/Personalblog

My ears are sore from these headphones.

Tomorrow (today), everyone in my family is going to a family reunion, and I said I'm not going.

I'm cold now.

/personalblog

Today I got stoned and ate pizza.

/personalblog

Just woke up and want some breakfast, got my toast and grape jelly. Got my plate and now i'm ready. got me yelling GIMME DAT BACON.

/twitter

Kaede-chan we luv u and support u all day good luck on ur date bb

*deleted*

Today someone chucked rocks at my head because of my skin color D: Then i decided to throw some pie at his face (I had some leftovers from the bakery). He = So Racist D:

/google_buzz

I'M HUNGRY.

/Personalblog

My gf insists on paying for all of her dates, so we're going to go see a movie when she gets paid on Monday. She wants to hang out today, and my friend wants me to jam with him today, I will probably do both. I need to find a DVD of The Boondock Saints, all I have is blue ray :1

/personal blog

These are making me laugh.
This is why I love you guys.
/smile

I love how you don't go on msn all the time you're on the computer. I understand if you're also playing aos, as it fucks with msn. I work 4-10 my time fyi, so I'll be leaving soon.

/Blogupdate

Washoe talkin about? I'm on msn all day.

I came for Ace of Spades.
Stayed for you guys.

I sit staring at the computer. in my right hand is the mouse, with a cigarette between two fingers. in my other hand is a cold bottle of beer. I didn't drink the beer. I just let it turn my fingers numb with the cold. I wonder if it's possible something may become of my bottom-feeder existence. The only thing that could help me is the project bearing it's cold eyes into me from the screen. The worst thing is, the only person I have ever loved is some how keeping me from getting further. From doing some thing. She does it with out knowing it. She does it just by being there. Being there, but so far away. With each second by fingers get colder. I take another drag from the cigarette and try to focus, but my mind slowly turns to the depression and the hatred. I hate it. I do love her, but at the same time I hate her. Because I know I can't have her. That hatred is what makes me write, but the love is what keeps me up, writing another page. I'm just pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

Really, Anaonda? Things will get better, don't worry.

that was just something from something i'm writing

I was almost worried this board is full of depressed people.

If you can't laugh at even the most stupid shit you should feel bad.

May make an average person rage

*seizure*

*fap*

quick question. Why is everyone on these forums obssessed with anime? anime creeps the SHIT out of me..

Not as bad as pony obsessors....

Then what i'm about to post will turn your entire body into a septic truck.

Gau, what are we going to do on the beach? POMF =3

what. the shit. was that.

i generally avoid Japanese cartoons these days.

I was raised up believing that I was somehow unique. Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes unique in each way you can see. And now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather be a functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me.
But I dont . . . I don't know what that will be.

/personal blog

`'"

im a towel monster! I will eat you! rawrwarwarrwer