You record the video and get the blu screen of death
I wish his cpu was fixed

It doesn't seem funny but people still laugh at it anyways.
I wish I didn't block you.

but you did now die
i wish i could fly

You gain the ability to fly but only over bodies of water.
I wish people didn't post so quickly.

everyone now posts at the same time
I wish i knew you

You learn everything about me but I'm the only person you will ever know.
I wish to avenge deuce13's death with a pickaxe and a spade.

You dig him a grave after killing his killer with a spade and receive a pickaxe through your head
I wish to dig it deeper

Granted. You dig the body too dep into Earth's core and you both burn.
I wish I could have all hats in TF2.

You manage to gain all of the hats and then your saved data becomes corrupted thus losing all of your hats
I wish people knew

(...FYI TF2 is a multiplayer game.)
People aren't smart enough to know.
I wish VALVe stopped making so many swords for Demoman and so many self-heal items.

People now know but can't handle it so their heads explode.
I wish I didn't have to die also.

then you die
i wish i had more wishes

You can't cause each person can only get 1 wish.
I wish Microsoft and Bungie made a PC version of Halo 3 and Reach!

but it's super laggy and the controls are crappy
i wish for a nice computer so i can stop trolling people with nice computers

wish granted but you use the bing search too much and click on a virus-infected page :)
i wish i had my own server even if nobody came

but it get's full of trolls and they votekick you before you can do anything
i wish trolls would...just...fall off the earth

wish granted but you type one wrong word and you fall off with them and find a HUGE troll that kills you with words(and his foul breath lol)
i wish sham loved me back

but then he loves you to much and starts stalking you
i wish for a cookie

But the cookie monster ate it all.

I wish i can have all teh bitchez.

but they hate you
i wish i could remeber what i wished for

But your wish won't come true if you wished to remember what you was wishing for.
I wish i could have a xbox360

but it doesn't work
i wish i could fly

You become a fly, and get swatted.
I wish I knew how magnets worked.

but then your brain explodes
i wish i could type faster

But then your fingers get so cramped from the typing that the surgeons will be forced to amputate them.

I wish that people would stop accusing me of being a hacker just because I'm good with the Rifle.

But everyone will troll you instead.

I wish i'm a wizard.

but you turn yourself into a frog
i wish i was 100% resistant to falls

Granted, every time air touches you you get a very bad cold.
I wish my Nazi German Officer hat was here at once.

but you're both in jail
i wish for a good pair of headphones

Hmm what about your ears?
I want to lose my virginity