Because mr. toots defies the law of awsome

Why am i not making profit $$$ from troll science?

Cuz hostilties in TUYANISTAN are rising causing low profit for troll science.
Which came first the chicken or John Wayne?

The egg.
How does Chuck Norris shave?

Chuck norris doesnt shave
Shave chucks Norris.
Who died?

Gordon Freeman.

How can you have pi squared when pie is round?

Minecraft pie.
Why is it ok for women to wear bikinis in public, but not bras and underwear?

Because the government hates the enjoyment of life.
Why is my toaster telling me to dance like a honeybadger?

Because you have been playing too much COD.

Why does the black guy always die in video games?

Cause asians die too.

Y r u?

cz u r me

Why did the horseman cook mushrooms?

Because he accidentally left his rations of dried orange slices back in the hotel room in the last town he stayed at.

Why did JaRool get caught and imprisoned for tax evasion?

Edit: Oh god that video... oh my GOD why. WHY???? And then Miku Hatsune at the end. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Because taxes stopped using pokeballs.

Why do bronies not want to embrace their origins?

Because there is no BLOOD.

Why am i not asleep when it's 5:55 AM EST for me?

Because your clock is backwards.

Why do these guys love Sailor Moon so much?

O.0...I...I....I have no idea....
My taco can talk, that make me a bad person cuz I ate him?

No, it makes you homophobic.

How many licks does it take to screw in a light bulb?

OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!

Am i cannibal if i eat myself?

Only on tuesdays.

Do you like my shoes?

Burn, Spaz. :D

No, only if you eat your poop.

Why do I always change avatars?

Edit: Dangit I'm late...again!

@Reverend Brown
Depends if can they help me form Voltron.
Wer'e in the world is Carmon Sandiego?!

the round part
who keeps doing that?

Your mom.

Cna uyo reda tihs?

fI oyu acn, yuo hvae a biran.

yes i have a bwain!
is bwain food?

NO,just for zombehs,and deh flood.
Why does facebook make me angry at times?

why wouldn't it? question and answer :D

@TLoL: Because the majority uses it. The majority shuns you and alienates you. Therefore you hate Facebook.

My turn: What is love?

It's a sign your lifes going to end.
When will pigs fly?

When you download the aether mod for minecraft.
Why is it that everyone hates the cone of fire, but now people are complaining about having a coneless sniper?

because the vote was rigged and we want to have the semi's acuracy it had 5.2 and earlier
bob or joe?

Bob of course. Silly question.
Who dunnit?