Wish already granted.

I wish I was from Sweden.

You thought you were but it turns out you were adopted by Kaede

I wish i didnt hate kaede

Lol, banned.

I wish I knew what post he got banned for.

Trolling + being dumb + given warnings

I wish for everything to be perfect.

it is, but only for everybody else
a wish to be the sole bearer for all your sins(im jesus :3)

You are, but you are invincible and you can't die for everyone's sins... Again?

I wish that Kanye's last name was West.

Jesus already died for everyone's sins..

Don't fear God's love.

He hasn't gotten anyone pregnant in over 2000 years.

I wish I didn't fucking fuck up the fucking end of MGS4, normally you can start a new campaign with all the weapons and fucking items that you fucking had last time but I did it in a fucking stupid way that makes it so I can't, and now I have to play the whole fucking game over again to get them fuck fuck fuck.

Your computer crashes from all the shit.

I wish there was a way to clean between keys on my keyboard.

But you use your eyeballs to clean it.

I wish someone delivered to me a very high end PC with uber performance and quality, I have a bodyguard that will never turn against me and has the power to send anyone to court and make them guilty, then he will kill of the people who try to kill me, the person delivering the PC personally is a very close friend and have no intention to kill me. Nothing bad happens, and I enjoy my life with the PC without any inconveniences and no people trying to annoy me while using it and nobody will wreck this wish (OP doesn't say I can't do this)
HAH! TAKE THAT! (Ace Attorney reference for the win!!)
(And please, no do not try to make a workaround/loophole through my statement. That is all, court is adjourned!)

you lose all you extremities.

I wish I could feel the soft, warmth of a girl's loving embrace.

Dawwwwww. You will someday, but not today. Remember, be alpha.

I wish I could free up more space on my hard drive (I've only got 40gb left)

But then you downloaded some more porn.

I wish I had no wish.

Wish granted, but then un-granted.

I wish people worship me.

Kaede did, but then you ate him.

I wish I could actually catch a fish.

You can catch a fish, but it is canned.

I wish you'd never change your current avatar.

I FELT I NEEDED A CHANGE.

I wish I could troll.

You are by evading ban.

I wish that TrollNoMore didn't evade his ban.

At this rate, lexsym will ban me again.

I wish lexsym was kewl.

He does not evade his ban but evades raimbowcakes ban.
Edit: lexysm becomes cooler than 30°C and dies of hypothermia.

I wish i knew how to play music.

But then you found out you needed to edit your post.

I wish I my name was spelt Gergery.

Edit: shit, too lazy to edit dude

Oh look, it's Rainbowcake's other alt.

It is, but then people make fun of you for being Gregery and not Gregory like everyone else.

I wish my back didn't hurt so much.

Your back feels better, because I have surgically removed your spinal column.

I wish that my internet was fast enough to host a server with more than 5 people on it.

It is, but they're always all griefers who constantly spam in non caps.

I wish it was five hours ago.

It's 4 hours and 59 mins ago, just not enough.

I wish I had more pewpew.

You get pewpew but its to pewpewy so you pew all over your carpet, and your mom gets mad.

I wish my computer was better.

Your computer is so awesome that it's processor can't slow down enough to run any of the current games or programs.

I wish I was 21 again.